Tags
challenging times, coping, coronavirus, distraction therapy, elderly parents, Gardening, hospital visits, lockdown, mindfulness, self-employed, self-isolation, working from home
What a different world we live in now to just over a month ago, when I wrote my last post – ironically on coping with work as a freelancer when you’re ill. Little did I know that a few days later I’d receive a panicked call from my Mum (84) telling me that my dad (86) was experiencing severe depression/delerium and she needed help fast. I called 999 and started throwing things in a bag/arranging for the dog to go to friends/extricating myself from what I was doing and headed over to their house, some 50 minutes away, as fast as I could. The ambulance beat me to it, thank goodness, but it was a nervewracking drive.
Cue two weeks of hospital visits, including several days in A&E, then a transfer to a hospital 30 or so minutes’ drive from me, but an hour and a half from my Mum, which meant that the most sensible thing was for her to come and stay with me so we could do our daily visits. Working when I was ill paled into insignificance beside the sheer impossibility of working at all while coping with a family emergency, visiting hospital every afternoon, keeping the rest of the family informed about what was going on and keeping my mum’s spirits up as best I could.
I’m immensely grateful to the lovely agency client who I had to let down with a largish job due the following week – they were so understanding and supportive, and sent me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers a few days later. They know who they are, and I really appreciate their kindness. Clients like that are to be treasured. Likewise the colleague who agreed to take the job on despite already being busy herself, so at least I felt I wasn’t leaving my client completely in the lurch – thanks again: I owe you one.
To compound matters, the weather was dire (remember the constant rain? I know, it feels like a lifetime ago to me too) and we managed to hit a huge pothole on one return journey from Hastings in the dark, limping home to the most awful racket – I was convinced my suspension must have gone, not just the tyre! Fortunately, my wonderful local garage came out to retrieve my car the next morning and it was just the tyre – phew.
The following day, we had to use Mum’s little car for our hospital visit while mine was out of action and our journey home this time was a race against floods – I’ve never seen rain, or standing water, like it. Somehow we pushed on, driving through deep water with me shouting “Just keep going!” to my poor mother – and I’m glad we did, as we must have been one of the last cars through the A21 before they closed it later that afternoon. We got home, nervous wrecks (again) and felt we’d really earned our glass of wine that evening. What had we done to deserve all this, we asked ourselves? Little did we know what was lying in wait around the corner…
Fortunately, Dad did get better in hospital. He was discharged initially on a 3-day trial, and then permanently, with care in the community as required. We now think his illness might have been a combination of factors: the heavy cold I brought back from Boston (more guilt), which manifested itself in a really nasty chest infection in him, a fall on a routine visit to hospital about his heart medication, the heavy-duty antibiotic his cardiologist prescribed, which may have reacted with his own medication (turns out it has been linked with suicidality in some cases), awful weather keeping him cooped up inside, and the sheer frustration of being locked out of his online banking because the bank changed the log-in rules again! The day before it all happened, he was on the phone to them for two hours, after which the call centre assistant told him she was going off duty and he’d have to go into the local branch. Enough to make anyone feel down…
Scroll forward a few short weeks and we could never have believed the events that have happened in the world since coronavirus took centre-stage. Everyone locked down at home, only allowed to go out for essential food shopping or one bout of exercise a day. Many translation and interpreting colleagues, especially in the leisure, arts or tourism sectors, have found that their workload has dried up overnight. We are all facing huge uncertainty at work and at home, and although many of us, as freelancers, are used to working from home, there’s a big difference between working from home because you choose to and being told you can’t go out. Many of us live and work on our own too: again, not normally a problem, but of course that’s when we meet other people on our daily dog walks, or at coffee with friends, or in our evening exercise classes. I’m sure I’m not the only one to start feeling anxious when faced with the onslaught of dreadful news bulletins and no-one close at hand to share it all with…
What can I say? I have no solutions, no easy answers to how to cope in these challenging times. All I can suggest is not dwelling on the news, trying to keep focused on day-to-day life and taking each day as it comes. My elder son has come home to live/work from here for the time being (they were hoping to exchange on a new house this week – more awful timing!), so it’s good to have someone else in the house. Cooking/baking/dogwalking/gardening – for those lucky enough to have a garden – are all excellent distraction techniques to keep your mind off other things. Doing things with your hands is a form of mindfulness, keeping your brain concentrated on what you’re doing in the here and now.
Work is an excellent distraction too, for those fortunate not to be affected too much by the downturn – although the sheer complexities of trying to run errands to shops without much stock/book online shopping slots for elderly parents who were self-isolating before the rest of us and really mustn’t go out, and the absolute necessity of keeping in touch with friends and family to keep us all buoyant in these strange times can make it a challenge to fit work in with everything else! Even if you haven’t got work, now that the Chancellor has set out a support package for the self-employed, do take this opportunity to do all those things you’ve been meaning to do, like learning a new CAT tool, picking up a new language, or catching up on all those webinars you signed up for, but haven’t yet watched. Many software packages have a month’s free trial period, so this could be the ideal time to experiment with Dragon, or play around with a pdf conversion tool, accounting software or translation management packages like TO3000 or SDL Business Manager.
I won’t go on – we’re all in the same boat and we will turn the corner, hopefully before too long. In the meantime, keep talking, stay safe and be thankful for the little things. I’m so glad my Dad got through his illness before all this happened and that they’re now safe at home, cheerfully coping with isolation with their usual Blitz spirit. I’m grateful that at least the weather has been sunny so we can enjoy the sunshine and get out in the garden – it’s hard to be too down in the face of the beauty of a magnolia tree in full bloom or a stunning blue sky and a field of daffodils.
This too shall pass – and I look forward to meeting all my friends and colleagues again for a huge party on the other side. Chin up – and thank goodness for the internet and social media keeping us all connected, at least virtually. Bon courage!
Good morning Claire
Thank you again for your blog. I do enjoy reading what you write.
Personally, I am not hugely affected. I’ve been going out for long walks and do not feel that I would merit being spied on by Police drones, being dobbed in by neighbours or being shamed by some local busy-body Facebook residents group (it’s happened round my way already to some). The virus aside, we are living in a time where this government now has seemingly unlimited power. It ‘s such a shame it did not invest as much energy in acquiring it in provisioning the NHS – they knew this was possible and decided to ignore it. I do not want life to go back to normal, because it was their “normal” that was the problem.
I’m not hugely affected, as I said and I feel for those who are.
All the best – I enjoy your writing and use it as inspiration for my next ITI Bulletin article. There are plenty of article idea in the pipeline.
Bye bye for now
ROBIN
Thanks, Robin. I’ve not been affected workwise yet either, for the time being, and appreciate that we are very lucky to be in that situation. I’m trying to pass on any surplus that comes my way to colleagues, as I’m sure you are too. Stay safe and good luck with the articles!
Hi Claire,
Hope you’re well since we last spoke.
You’re so right about work being an excellent distraction. I handed in the last of my work today, not knowing what April holds, and I already feel like I don’t know what to do with myself!
I’ve written myself a list of chores and DIY that need doing, I’ve got a copywriting course to do and I’ve signed up to learn Spanish. But today I have zero motivation, so I’ve given myself a day off. After all, these are testing times and we all need to remember not to be too hard on ourselves. (And besides, I worked over the weekend to meet my client’s deadline, so I deserve it 🙂 ).
Stay safe,
Hannah
Thanks, Hannah – I think taking time off is equally important! And you definitely deserve it if you worked over the weekend 🙂 All good here, thanks – just about to go and give the dog his (very late) one walk a day, but I think I’ll combine it with a trip to the allotment to get some more leeks and parsley. Stay safe too x
Glad your parents are well and nice to have your son with you. I joke that my life is not much different now except I now have 4 other people sharing my workspace – fortunately we all have separate rooms to work in!
It is different and worrying but I am grateful for many things – nearness to countryside and able to get out and exercise, my family, good health and so far a reasonable amount of work. Sometimes difficult to focus on it though!
Thanks, Lydia – I know what you mean. With everyone trying to keep in touch by phone and internet, it’s hard to actually find the time to work sometimes – but so important to keep in touch. I’m calling my parents at least once a day to check in, but I’m sure my mum will get sick of me calling before too long! Glad all’s well with you – and yes, different rules to apply in these changing times.
What an ordeal you went through with your parents! As hard as it was, I’m glad you were close enough to be such a support to them, and that your dad has recovered. Wonderful picture, they do seem to embody that Blitz spirit we can all use a little of right now. Glad your son is with you; I always love it when my boys drop by. My parents and brother live far away (Holland, I’m in California), but we’re bridging the gap with phone calls and Zoom. Community is important, like you said, whatever form it takes. Thanks for this post!
Thanks, Marie – it was a nightmare at the time, but all the family pulled together and we got through it, just as we will with this next instalment of 2020. Who’d have thought it as we toasted the New Year on 31 December? Glad you’re all OK too. That transatlantic distance does seem a long way at times like these. My younger son is in Boston and I hate the thought that we can’t see each other if something happens – best not to think about it! At least they’ve taken the opportunity of working from home for the next month or so to get a new puppy, so are being kept very busy and amused 🙂
Wow, you really HAVE had a tough time recently, Claire? ‘Multiple adverse scenarios’ I think the nuclear industry would call it?? But well done for coping resiliently in the face of adversity… I also read your last-but-one blog post (about being ill) before reading this one. When you wrote that in mid-February, little could you have guessed what lay ahead – both for you and for the world – in March!! Six weeks on, the final paragraph makes for particularly ironic reading. Anyway, once this is all over, you must definitely come and help NWTN celebrate its 35th anniversary, whenever that may be! 🙂
Thanks, Mike – I had to re-read the last paragraph to see what you meant and I see what you mean! I hope I didn’t jinx it all! I do wonder, in retrospect, whether what I had was a form of coronavirus, as it lingered an awful long time – I was still coughing 7 weeks on! But, of course, until we can all get access to tests, it’s impossible to say. It turns out there was a major conference in Boston around the time I was there at which people reported symptoms, and I did travel on public transport and then back through the busy airport with lots of Chinese people wearing masks. I did go to the doctor (having called 111 first, of course, to check whether I should) when I was still struggling with my cold, but they didn’t carry out any tests there either. Who knows? It would be good to know if I have, of course, likewise my parents – and would explain why my father at 86 was particularly ill with it.
Would love to come up to Manchester again and help celebrate the NWTN anniversary – keep me posted 🙂
Hello Claire, I always enjoy your blog, but I’ve never left a comment before. I wanted to thank you for your contribution to the ITI coffee morning today. After the event I downloaded Dragon – something I’d been meaning to do for ages. Your presentation gave me the nudge I needed!
Good to hear that your dad is recovering well after what sounds like a terribly turbulent time. I have my elderly mum living locally who is stoically accepting self-isolation. I’m impressed by how well she’s dealing with it and we’re lucky that we can speak at a distance through her bedroom window on fine days. My dad and step-mum live in Spain and it’s hard being so far away from them. Thank goodness for the internet!
Thank you again, Claire, and I hope you and your family stay safe and well. 😊
Thank you, Deborah – I’m delighted to hear you’ve taken the plunge and good luck taming your Dragon. I think it’s actually really easy to get started these days, no training necessary, but don’t hesitate to ask if you need any advice. I find it’s better to speak in complete sentences, or at least continuous text; Dragon doesn’t do so well with short staccato bursts, presumably because it can’t put words in context, so is more likely to misrecognise.
Glad your mum is coping too; my parents were born just before the war, so I think they are drawing on coping reserves from those terrible times. My sister lives 20 mins away from them so has been dropping off extra shopping between the Ocado deliveries I’ve arranged for them, and she stands halfway down the path and shouts – so at least they do see people, even at a distance! I do feel for people in Spain though, where the lockdown rules seem much more stringent. Stay safe too, and please do ask if you need any guidance.
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What an ordeal. Hope everything is looking up now. Work is a very valuable distraction, as you noted. I make work when I don’t have any (happens a lot these days with Corona). You can’t think/worry about two things at once. Good luck!
Thank you! It’s been a very busy two months, both on the family and work fronts, thank goodness – healthwise everyone seems to be on an even keel. Very grateful for that and for keeping busy. Best of luck to you too 🙂